Parenting is the ultimate lesson in debunking the myth that we can control other people. From the time they pass the first trimester of pregnancy, children are in control of our bladders, sometimes bowels, sex life, and sleep. Once they make their appearance they have even more control. They now have control over our emotions, our thoughts, attitudes, and behaviours. Very soon parents begin to behave insanely. This all before these children can walk. And we wonder why, by the time they become teenagers, we are blathering idiots. It’s really because we did not have a chance and did not know we were out of the race before it began.
The role of the therapist in parenting issues is to identify the tortoise and the hare. We, the hare(s), think we are so far ahead in the race because we have all this wisdom, experience, and knowledge that we can anticipate every crook in the road and every hill to climb. What we failed to realize is, too often, that the tortoise, our child, had found their own track, their own hills and their own running shoes.
The goal of therapy is to develop flexibility and adaptability. To be open to a new track, new hills to climb, and to strap on, joyously, a new pair of running shoes.