Pre-Martial therapy is a very progressive and evolutionary approach to a life-long commitment to becoming a monogamous and egalitarian partner in living life together to the fullest. It signals a desire to know each other well and to discover whether you can accept the differences that exist in each other. It is an acknowledgement that these differences do exist and will exist. Therefore they need to be accommodated.
The role of the therapist in pre-marital therapy is to be a general contractor. By the time a general contractor has been hired, the couple has already decided to build a house. Finances are figured out. Lot and house plans are decided upon. The general contractor has to decide how the plumber and the drywaller can coordinate their tasks and what will stand in the way.
The goal is to ensure that each member has empathy for the other’s needs. They will need to develop good problem solving skills, conflict-resolution skills and ways to regulate their emotional responses to the other person.